Jane Says...

25 Weeks!

2011-04-25T23:37:00.004-04:00

This is what you look like inside of my tummy this week! I feel you A LOT more and it's the best feeling! I think you're finally hanging out vertically instead of your comfy horizontal position!

I cannot wait for our Florida trip in 2 weeks, it's going to be such a relief to not worry about ANYTHING for 7 whole days!

24 week Belly

2011-04-19T09:10:00.004-04:00

There it is!

The Doc Giveth, The Doc Taketh Away....

2011-04-15T08:34:00.003-04:00

Well, the good news is you're a healthy 1lb 13 oz! You gained 1 whole pound in a month! I'm so proud of you ;) The bad News, if you even wanna call it that, is that I'm now back one week, and your new EDD is 8.6.11!! Daddy is secretly happy you will not be a Cancer, he said Leo's are better! You've been laying horizontially instead of vertically, but the doctor says that's okay, you'll do your thing when you need to.

24 Weeks - 6 Months down 3 to go!

2011-04-11T08:17:00.008-04:00

Wow 24 weeks already!! I can't believe it! So, you're the length of an ear of corn, I hope you're not that skinny! I still only feel kicks well below my belly button, but man do they pack a wallop! I can't wait for you to grow bigger and get higher so I can feel them all over! And guess what? Daddy felt you kick for the very first time the other night!

I had a dream the other night you came out of my belly just to say hi, you were gorgeous and now more than ever I cannot wait to meet you. I wish August would hurry up and get here.

Keep growing my sweet baby boy! Mama & daddy want to feel those kicks!!!

Mango Salsa?

2011-04-01T07:28:00.004-04:00

This week you are the size of a large mango. To think, you started off as a poppy seed and now you're a delicious fruit! I think I will be making some mango salsa this weekend. Going forward, I think I'm going to make a dish that incorporates the food you represent every week! How does that sound little guy?

What a difference a year makes

2011-03-31T23:10:00.007-04:00

Wow, well where to start? Thanksgiving morning I found out I was going to be a mama! Our beautiful baby boy Jack will be arriving sometime in late July/Early August! This little boy is loved more than he will ever know, and he's not even here yet! I can't even imagine what it will be like when he does arrive. My Job is absolutely horrible, the pits, abusive, and going down the crapper. Our company is basically bleeding a slow death until the end of the summer. I just pray I make it to the end of my pregnancy so I can claim disability or better yet Unemployment, while I get my grounding as a new mom and possibly go back to school For What, I don't know. But anything, anything at all is better than where I am now. The only thing that is keeping me going is the arrival of my sweet baby boy. I just wanna love on him!

Lesson Learned

2010-05-17T13:41:00.003-04:00

As many of you know, my Aunt passed away in February 2008. What most of you don't' know is the amazing lesson(s) she taught me and anyone else who came into contact with her during her final days.

For the people who don't know what happened, my Aunt was diagnosed with Stage 4 Pancreatic Cancer on October 31st 2007, and she passed away on February 5Th 2008.

Should you have had the awesome opportunity to sit & talk with her during the last 3 months of her life, I guarantee you would've been blown away, and your outlook on life forever changed. I know this, because she changed me...

She said "I'm an ordinary woman, with extraordinary friends" and "I have finally become the person I've always wanted to be." I can only hope and pray I have those two exact feelings when my life is almost over.

The amazing gift this woman has taught me is strength, courage, and faith.

Strength... Her strength to accept and deal with her illness and her refusal to participate in experimental treatments was mind boggling. But her reasoning behind it made much sense.... "I want quality of life, not quantity" Just to look at this woman you cannot help but think; "wow."

Courage... Her courage to face her illness 110% and to plan her wake and funeral to the very last detail (flowers, music, prayer cards, etc.) The minute she found out she was terminally ill she was never scared for herself; she was scared for her family and friends. She knew her fate and she immediately accepted it and was never, ever angry. Can you imagine, not being angry with anyone especially God,w ho she had the utmost faith in? (I'll be getting to that momentarily.) She made sure she had closure with every single person she held dear, and made them feel somewhat at east with the situation. I was lucky enough to say goodbye to her 3 days before she passed, and I felt her promised "soft breeze" across my face on my wedding day!

Faith... Her faith in God was so strong. To tell you the honest truth I never knew she was such a spiritual person, (neither did a lot of people) She said when she first found our about her illness she wasn't afraid because "I felt God wrap his arms around me and then, I knew I was going to be O.K." God? Before she was sick, I could even fathom faith, let alone putting all my trust in something or someone I couldn't' see. But, watching her comfort and her almost excitement at dying just so she could be with God was amazing. I was lucky enough to participate in a group session on a random Saturday with my Aunt and the women (including my Mom) who were closest to her in her life.. She basically went on to say "I see God in all of you, I see him in nature, and I see him everywhere." "I'm not afraid because I know where I'm going, and where I'll be." Now here's me the skeptic; mentally rolling my eyes and thinking "yeah, OK" but then a funny thing happened, I took the following Tuesday off of work because that session was so intense and so emotionally draining that I had to take a mental health day. I was standing outside just getting some fresh air, and it started to snow, and I mean really snow, which came out of no where by the way. I stood outside and watched the snow fall for a good 20 minutes. It fell in different shapes and sizes, and came down in all different directions. Then it finally hit me, now I'm not saying I had a divine intervention or epiphany if you will, but I think I got it. How can you not see God in nature? When the sun comes through the clouds and you see beams of sunlight shining through how can you not help but think of God? I don't think I'll become a holy roller, but because of her I have a solid understanding of faith, and the idea of God.

The impact my Aunt's death has had on me in monumental. I am forever changed and grateful for the lessons she had taught me.. Albeit, I think we all learned it the hard way, but lessons have been learned nonetheless.

I now walk with the mind set that life is way too short for petty bullshit and it's really not worth your time to become all consumed with it on a day to day level. At the end of your life what do you want to remember? Do you want drama or fulfillment of life that you can be proud of? Who cares what you look like, your family and true friends don't. It's never too late to start over, start something new, change jobs, move to a new state, or to have a better quality of life. If it will ultimately make you happy and feeling fulfilled then GO FOR IT! You have nothing to lose!

If I live to have an ounce of her strength & courage I will have become the woman I've always wanted to be.

I will miss this woman forever, but the indelible mark she has left will be everlasting.

This week ...

2010-02-22T21:48:00.007-05:00

Well this week I gained .08 which isn't bad at all considering how lax I was with the program. I'll take it! I would be just as blase about it if I had lost that much. This is the first time since starting program I gained, and you know what? It's not the end of the world. This weekend we chillaxed, watched movies & had a very nice Sunday BBQ with friends. I wanted to pretend we were in Toronto on a break from the Olympic games, but yeah...that didn't justify the cold at all. Monty has been a total mush ball this week and I'm loving it! I think he's going through a really big growth spurt and it's taking it's toll. His new thing is to lay on his back with his front paws resting on his chest! It's hysterical, I wish I had a picture but he moves every time.

Well that's all for now!

I have rejoined the workforce!

2010-02-16T23:35:00.004-05:00

Well, well, well...look who's back! It's been a while (okay, okay 6+ months) But I'm back baby! AND I'm employed!! I fell into an amazing position in the beginning of November. I'm working for a construction company, glamorous I know, but it's such a great position, and a lot of potential for growth and $$$!

I'm basically an admin and "Ellis Island." Everything, and I mean everything has to pass by my desk in order to get started. I'm not going to go into my job description, but it's quite fascinating. While I do not miss the corporate atmosphere, I do however miss dressing like a female. My daily attire consists of jeans, construction boots, & Fleeces. I do miss the heels, blouses, dresses, etc.... but it makes those moments to the grocery store extra special when I go dressed to the nines! ;)

I didn't realize how severely depressed I actually was until I got back into the workforce. I was like a functioning mess. On the outside everything appeared to be good, but on the inside I was miserable but I was coping and accepted the feeling so I didn't know any different for the 9 months I was sitting on my arse.

....Speaking of my arse it had gotten HUGE on this chair I am currently sitting in now. So, I got rid of that bad, bad chair. Only kidding. I rejoined Weight Watchers and after 6 weeks I've lost 9 pounds! It feels different this time. I feel that this is a journey and not how fast can I lose 30 pounds. So we'll see what happens.

That's about it for now, I'm really going to make a concerted effort to maintain this!

Peace out Cub Scouts!

A Religious Expierence

2009-06-27T17:40:00.015-04:00

Yesterday a bunch of us went to Five Guys Hamburgers in Hauppauge. I've only heard great things about this joint! Hey even Obama & Biden go there weekly for lunch. You walk in and the walls are stacked shoulder high with bags upon bags of potatoes. There is also a sign on the wall that tells you where today's potatoes are from. Yesterday the Potatoes came from Rigby, Idaho. Just in case we were wondering. I had the Cheeseburger with a large drink & Anthony & I split a large fry. My Friend Janeese had a cheese hot dog, they split the dog in half and layer it with cheese, now even I would eat that!

Now, when you go up an order, it's almost like ordering a drink from Starbucks. The burger comes with nothing on it whatsoever. Just meat, cheese, & the bun. BUT you have a multitude of toppings you can add. I added: Mayo, ketchup, onions, lettuce, tomato,& relish. The other topping choices are sauteed onions, mushroom, jalapeno peppers, BBQ or hot sauce. So the taste possibilities are endless! Next time I will get the "Little Cheeseburger" I had no idea the regular Burger is a double patty. That's just way too much burger for me. After I finished my meal I felt like I had a food baby inside my tummy. But it was soooo worth it!!!

I tracked the stats on Weight Watchers, and the burger came to 24 points, and the 1/2 large fry was 14 points!!!!!!!!

This is definitely a "special occasion" or once a month type thing. But this was soooooooo good! I want to go back already, but I must restrain myself!

"The Cheeseburger"

My Massive Drink, next to the Large Fry

These are just the fries that fell out of the cup

Prep Station - making the goodness!

Introducing Maude...errrr Monty!

2009-06-21T00:08:00.023-04:00

Anthony & I became proud owners of a kitten. We got Monty about 3 weeks ago. For 2 whole weeks we thought Monty was a girl, so I named her Maude; after Bea Arthur. Then one day I discovered his little furry pompom's and from that day forward he's been Monty!

He's such a good kitty, minus 2AM trips to the ER b/c he ran full steam into the door and knocked himself silly! But Thankfully all is well and $95 later we were able to get sound peace and mind, and a good nights sleep.

Pics of Monty

I need a vacation

2009-05-15T01:50:00.002-04:00

Yes I said it! I need a vacation. I'm so tired of sitting at home day in and day out with no real person to person, face to face contact. This is really starting to take a toll on me. I'm usually bright, bubbly, and happy. But now I'm just Meh. Meh pretty much sums up my days now.

I feel so guilty for wanting to go away when I know we really shouldn't be going. My question is...what's going to "cost more" in the long run?

I'm not talking 2nd honeymoon vacation here. Just a quick 4-5 day getaway to a beach where the only dilemma for the day is food & drink. Is that asking too much? I don't think so.

Tupperware

2009-05-13T15:18:00.002-04:00

So tomorrow is a landmark day for me in my new status as a wife, and temporary homemaker. I'm delving into a tradition that's been a part of every married woman's life for over 50 years...

What is it I'm going to you say; well I'm going to my first Tupperware party!

Truth be told, I'm very excited. I don't know if I'm more excited to meet women that I've been interacting with for over 2 years, or if it's scoring copious amounts of plastic container goodness! I have no idea how much money I'm going to spend, but I think I'm going to cap myself at $50.00 for now. We'll see how I feel "in the moment" Being so out of the Suzie homemaker loop, I have no idea what these babies go for. I must get acquainted.

I will update Friday morning with my recap of my first Tupperware party!!

Being Home.

2009-05-13T10:16:00.006-04:00

Well it's a beautiful sunny day today. The landscapers just finished mowing the grass in the courtyard, my coffee mug is 3/4 of the way full...life is good. But it could be better. Does it always need to be?

Probably...

The majority of my day is comprised of sitting here at this computer looking for a job, and networking. I would love to go out shopping, but you need money for that. I could go for a walk, but I'm too lazy. I want to go on a vacation, but there's that money factor again. When I was working I really wanted time off, didn't ever want to work again. HA! Now I see what a cruel hand karma has dealt me. This is TORTURE! Yeah, yeah, everything happens for a reason. Was I in a dead end job? Yes. Was the management there a little askew and biased? Most definitely. Was it all for the best? That remains to be seen.

I'm going to try and use this blog as an outlet for my feelings, as I seem to bottle them up until I'm almost at a breaking point. I'm my mother's daughter in that regard.

Welcome Benjamin Robert!

2009-05-12T15:29:00.001-04:00

Benjamin Robert was born on May 7th 2009. He weighed 7lbs 5oz and was 19 inches long. To say he's perfect is an understatement. His parents are our close friends Amy & Justin. I couldn't be happier for them!!!

Mazel Tov!

My First post!

2009-05-12T15:26:00.000-04:00

Well this is my first foray into the blogosphere! I'm unemployed at the moment and I think this will be a good outlet for me.

My day is filled with job hunting, Facebook posts, and chatting with new found friends on LIW!

I will try and keep this up, at least for the summer :)